Thursday 30 November 2017

Blue Ice (1992)





Glasses: No.
Doing an Accent?: No
Accent for whole film?: N/A
Hair: Yes
Does he point at someone?: Yes.

Best Line: "The person who owns that car will be upset? The person who owns this car is BLOODY FURIOUS!" 

Blue Ice, yet ANOTHER spy related film in Caines oeuvre. He must just really like spy novels or something, as on this one he appears to have put up some of his own money (earning a Producer credit) instead of doing the normal and, you know, just turning up for a fat pay cheque and funding a new pond or something.

London based, seemingly filmed all around Borough and London Bridge areas (nice location for this sort of thing), in extremely 90s dry ice heavy fashion, with an appalling Michael Kamen score and lots of moody lighting. A lot of Edward Hopper like mise-en-scene in this one, which is no bad thing really.

Caine plays Harry Palmer Anders, a retired spy who now runs a jazz club and spends his days involved in The Jazz and all that comes with it. One day, his tasty Jag Mk2 is rear ended by a mysterious seductive woman who carries a secret and which leads him back down the rabbit hole of ye olde spy business. You know - the normal state of affairs for this kind of film. 

This ends up with the American embassy, a group of assassins who appear to drive around in a post office van (??), Caines old firm and the police all wanting a piece of him. When, really, all he wants is a fling with Sean Young, to do his ironing in his tasteful apartment above his club and to spend his evenings immersed in The Jazz. 

And who could blame him?

This film carries heavy Harry Palmer associations, from the London setting, to Caine really pulling out the Harry tricks, to an utterly utterly mental drug induced interrogation scene (ala Ipcress File). This is before they went the whole hog and brought back Harry P for those pair of 90s films.

Not bad, but not hugely great either. A solid 6/10 effort. Not as entertaining as I remember it being back in the 90s when I first saw it (around the same time as Shock To The System

Still, if you want to kick back late night with a J&B (as I did) and enjoy a passable little thriller, than this is just the job.

Noticeable Things.

1. We have to start with Harrys tasteful club "Harrys" (imaginative!), which looks like  a perfect Valhalla to me.



 Humble from the outside.....

  ......Where the music flows.......

  ....Charlie Watts is the house drummer.....

 ........and you can get pints of bitter served to the table.

 (you cannot see the sheer ecstatic joy on Sean Youngs face here)


 2. There is an exact point in this film where, if you look, the seed of doubt is planted:

This is supposed to be the residence of the American ambassador. But look:



A circa '91 standard issue BT landline phone in hearing aid beige? In the ambassadors? 

Thats a giveaway about a wrong un, if ever I saw it.


3. Midway through the film, I thought there'd been a mistake as suddenly, it goes from a moody spy thriller into a full bore action gangster film? I honestly thought that another film had been spliced in by mistake:


We get men hurrying out from a building



Bob Hoskins, doing the full Bob Hoskins


Classic balaclava terrorists


High speed car chases


Drive-by M18 firefights


Big explosions


And Bob laying waste to all and sundry


None of which really seems to have anything to do with the main plot of the film, other than being a very elaborate way of Maurice getting a gun and taking part in that classic "prowl the warehouse, shooting wooden cut outs of criminals that pop out at random" scene.

4. This security van turns up. Now, if you grew up in Britain in the 90s, then shite security guards driving around in these style vans were de rigueur.


5. A frankly bizarre ending, which sees the main bad guy hoist into the air 'pon a hook, wildly firing a machine gun and screaming madly whilst gunfighting with Caine. Really.



6. Now, I know what you are thinking. "This is all very well, but where are the points?" Well, never let it be said that we don't give the two people that read this blog what they want:

We get pointing at a car




Pointing during the middle of a fight



Pointing at a fish, interrupting Young mid line to throw this point.




Pointing over breakfast. (breakfast not in shot)



Outfit of the film: It has to be the basic, casual, white shirt he wears for cooking in his rather cool flat. I'd live there. Its crumpled, rolled up at the sleeves, but the boy wears it well.

You smooth bastard.


And it ends with a champagne toast. Cheers!