Deathtrap (1982)

Glasses: No

Doing an Accent?: No

Accent for Whole Film?: N/A

Hair: No

Does He Point At Someone?: Yes

Best Line: "I woke up at the end of the line! .......BLOODY SYMBOLIC!"

Deathtrap, another one that I saw back in the day, when ITV did a mini season of Caine films of a Friday Night, so one could return from the pub, slump down and enjoy some Caineage. From memory, they showed Rio, Scoundrels and Shock as well as this one. 

Oh, for ITV to do something similar nowadays across a couple of Fridays. Less channels, but seemingly more on.

I'd already seen it going in - and this film has a clear moment which all Caine fans remember. If you've seen it, you'll know exactly which scene I'm talking about! I recall uttering a true MC "BLADDY HELL!" when it came the first time I watched, as I was invested in the film fully at that point.

Hence, no major surprises this time around, 20 years later, second viewing. 

Have to say though, this film is pretty good, fairly twisty, Caine is on form, the script works and it was just the ticket after the run of films that Caineology has thrown at me recently. Suffering through Bullseye almost sank the project, I'll openly admit, so seeing a decent little film like this, with much to enjoy was most welcome.

The outline, such as it is, brings us Caine as a playwright who has been very successful in the past, but is in the midst of a dry streak and knocking out flop after flop and getting a tonne of "Shit Sandwich" reviews (hint of the decade to come for Caines career, harsher critics would say. I would point at The Swarm and say he's already there.........), when in the midst of his despair, a student he has taught on a college course some time ago sends him a play "Deathtrap" which is a work of genius.

 So good, in fact, that Caine decides that it would be quite desirable to bump the student off, claim the play as his own and reap the rich rewards that this would bring. 

His (rather lovely) wife is mortified, naturally, and being a rather highly strung person (heart pills on the table, jumping at shadows, screaming whenever Caine quietly comes into a room) simply cannot deal with the prospect of this, especially when after inviting the student over for a coaching session..........they find out that no-one has seen the play, no-one knows where he is, and he's brought all of the copies with him.

So, the wolf begins eyeing the lamb hungrily, so to speak and in more ways than one.

Of course, this being a stage play made into a film, there's a lot more to come, more to watch and many many turns unfolding over the rest of the story.

Honestly, its a solid little film. Not a work of genius, but you could find far worse things to do that sit down with Deathtrap of an evening. I will say as well, that theres a lot to enjoy from watching it a second time. Many hints and small moments that can get overlooked the first time around, but take on a whole new significance when you know how the plot unfolds. Very good.

1. For some reason, the film throws some light touch Suspiria style lighting effects from time to time. As its more or less a single set play, this does wonders in livening things up by starting small and getting larger as we go

2. POST MURDER VICTORY SANDWICH

3.. WINNING CRAVAT

4. Michael Caine Observes and despairs

Outfit of the film: 

Now, this is how one dresses for breakfast. 

Accept nothing less!

The Fourth Protocol (1987)

Glasses: No

Doing an Accent?: No

Accent for whole film?: N/A

Hair: Restrained

Does he point at someone?: Yes, see below.


Best line: "Acting Head, Sunshine. And if you ask me, you're acting like a complete arsehole!"

The Fourth Protocol. A Frederick Forsyth. Another spy film. Another one! Caine must have had easy selection in this genre, I suppose. In the same way I suppose someone like Connery would always have a role available in the spy genre if he chose to. Speaking of Bonds, this ones also got future 007 Brosnan in it, as a cold good looking utterly ruthless Russian agent.

Apparently, this one came about through Caine reading the manuscript and suggesting to FF that they produce the film together, then the money didn't happen so they passed the project on to other directors, confirming our suspicion that Caine must love spy stories as he seems to spend a lot of time in them.

Its standard cold war fare really. Russians, bombs, passing of secrets, "the old boys on both sides get along really", tight arses in charge, our man out hunting for the agent, so if you want a 1980s spy/terrorist film set around London and consisting of the normal set pieces for this sort of "THERES A RUSKI LOOSE WITH A NUKE!!" scenario, this is well worth your time.

Upper end of the scale. Not too bleak, not too light, fairly action packed and some good "corridors of power" scenes. Plus theres a bit of SAS action, which is always a plus. Sorta similar to Jackal, I suppose.

Good score too. Was enjoying greatly when the credits were rolling at the outset and the name came up........Lalo Schifrin. Say no more! I know Morricone is the boss there, but I actually prefer Schifrin of the two.




1. Straight in, first appearance and we've got a rat arsed Caine to contend with. Classic.

(Peter O'Toole just out of shot, probably)

Hammered, pure hammered.........or is he?

Excellent character introduction, most excellent. Well played all.

2 - A traditional bollocking. It seems as though in all of his spy films, Caine gets dragged in for a bollocking by his superiors. Well, assumed superiors. This one, he's less nonplussed than Harry was and willing to give it back (see: best line)

Some fine pointing in this scene. Some fine ragin' at The Man whilst prowling the room. Some fine glassy eyed howls of torment.

 

 

(Julian Glover visibly shaken)

A lesson from the master in how to rachet it up to 11 on demand.

Of course, Caine then does what we all do after leaving work in an irritable mood and gets into a punch up on the tube home.

Lesson - Do not be a thug on the tube when the following people are on board reading the newspaper:

1 - Charles Bronson

2 - Michael Caine

3 - TBC

3 - How'd you like your jackets? Puffy?

4 - Pierce Brosnan is a dick.

Getting a female agent drunk whilst she's supposed to be working:

Seducing your wife whilst you are at the bar getting him a drink:

 

 Spying on your wife:

Spying on his local swinger party:

 

 

 

 

 Posing in his XR3i

Yes, I know he's supposed to be a calculating killer of the coldest coldest blood, but does he have to be so much of a prick about it?

4 - Theres a lot of Ipcressian touches in this film, mainly based around use of locations and nods to scenes from the earlier film. Nice little gesture and not showy.

5 - This film contains both the old model and the new model transit van.

 

I don't know why that makes me happy, but it does.

 So, a good story, plenty of plotting going on, good performances, a gorgeous looking London and a plethora of minutae = a bit of winner

.

Outfit of the film. Turtlenecks, turtlenecks all the way down.

Blame it on Rio (1985)

Glasses: Yes

Doing an Accent?: No

Accent for whole film?: N/A
Hair: Yes

Does he point at someone?: Yes, with a flipper no less.

Best line: "make love to me" "I'm 20 years older than you!" "28." "..........25?"

Two things first of all:

1 - This film is a wrong un. Just think about these statements - "The first time I kissed you, it was at your christening" or "I used to have such a crush on your Father" ".............me too" (spoken by his daughter!!) before heading in.

2 - Caines floating disembodied head and collar in that poster above.

It would be fair, and I don't think Mike would disagree with this, to say that Caine was slumming it on a regular basis at this point in his career. Had he slummed it any further in this film, he might as well have filmed it in the Favela. The script must have read decently enough, being rather snappy with the one liners, but this doesn't translate too well onto the screen. 

The film purports to be a bright comedy of errors for the family to chuckle along to............or is it the unwitting document of something else?

We open with scenes of harrowing nightmarish figures, writhing in pastel turmoil, the product of mental torment, perhaps brought by the effects of a neon sleeping environ?

Then cut to a figure - nervous looking. rambling. confessional.

The tale then unfolds of Caines "unwilling" seduction by his best friends daughter on a family trip to Rio in a time of marital stress and the wife not being around.

UNWILLING

UNWILLING

UNWILLING

"I am not someone who hangs around schoolyards in a raincoat!"

He's innocent. He fell into it. He tried to stop it from continuing!

CONFESS.

CONFESS

Along the way, theres some wonderful showdown between the two fathers, forced into sharing a bed for the night and full of mutual loathing.

GIMME SOME!

GIMME HALF!!!

Random grooving bongo dudes

And.......er.........gentlemen being shaved in the street.

Outfit of the film.
Caine seeks professional help (rightly!) and is correctly dressed for the ceremony.