Deathtrap (1982)

Glasses: No

Doing an Accent?: No

Accent for Whole Film?: N/A

Hair: No

Does He Point At Someone?: Yes

Best Line: "I woke up at the end of the line! .......BLOODY SYMBOLIC!"

Deathtrap, another one that I saw back in the day, when ITV did a mini season of Caine films of a Friday Night, so one could return from the pub, slump down and enjoy some Caineage. From memory, they showed Rio, Scoundrels and Shock as well as this one. 

Oh, for ITV to do something similar nowadays across a couple of Fridays. Less channels, but seemingly more on.

I'd already seen it going in - and this film has a clear moment which all Caine fans remember. If you've seen it, you'll know exactly which scene I'm talking about! I recall uttering a true MC "BLADDY HELL!" when it came the first time I watched, as I was invested in the film fully at that point.

Hence, no major surprises this time around, 20 years later, second viewing. 

Have to say though, this film is pretty good, fairly twisty, Caine is on form, the script works and it was just the ticket after the run of films that Caineology has thrown at me recently. Suffering through Bullseye almost sank the project, I'll openly admit, so seeing a decent little film like this, with much to enjoy was most welcome.

The outline, such as it is, brings us Caine as a playwright who has been very successful in the past, but is in the midst of a dry streak and knocking out flop after flop and getting a tonne of "Shit Sandwich" reviews (hint of the decade to come for Caines career, harsher critics would say. I would point at The Swarm and say he's already there.........), when in the midst of his despair, a student he has taught on a college course some time ago sends him a play "Deathtrap" which is a work of genius.

 So good, in fact, that Caine decides that it would be quite desirable to bump the student off, claim the play as his own and reap the rich rewards that this would bring. 

His (rather lovely) wife is mortified, naturally, and being a rather highly strung person (heart pills on the table, jumping at shadows, screaming whenever Caine quietly comes into a room) simply cannot deal with the prospect of this, especially when after inviting the student over for a coaching session..........they find out that no-one has seen the play, no-one knows where he is, and he's brought all of the copies with him.

So, the wolf begins eyeing the lamb hungrily, so to speak and in more ways than one.

Of course, this being a stage play made into a film, there's a lot more to come, more to watch and many many turns unfolding over the rest of the story.

Honestly, its a solid little film. Not a work of genius, but you could find far worse things to do that sit down with Deathtrap of an evening. I will say as well, that theres a lot to enjoy from watching it a second time. Many hints and small moments that can get overlooked the first time around, but take on a whole new significance when you know how the plot unfolds. Very good.

1. For some reason, the film throws some light touch Suspiria style lighting effects from time to time. As its more or less a single set play, this does wonders in livening things up by starting small and getting larger as we go

2. POST MURDER VICTORY SANDWICH

3.. WINNING CRAVAT

4. Michael Caine Observes and despairs

Outfit of the film: 

Now, this is how one dresses for breakfast. 

Accept nothing less!

Noises Off (1992)

Glasses: No

Doing an Accent?: No

Accent for Whole Film?: N/A

Hair: Yes

Does He Point At Someone?: Yes

Best Line: NO.

I know nothing about this play, but it seems it was a huge success. Possibly, but I can't disagree with the dismal takings that this film version took ($12m budget, $2m box office) as this is a technically interesting film - the actors acting in very rapid fire fashion, the charging about set, the back and forth dialogue - but whereas on the stage this must have been a thrilling "is this about to go wrong?"...............on the screen, it just doesn't pass muster. 

We know they are edited. 

We know if they made a mistake, they'll halt and re-shoot. 

The suspension of disbelief just isn't strong enough.

Some stage plays get adapted and are very clearly a play, but work well (Sleuth, Deathtrap) but some are just too stagey to really work. I'm not a huge fan of farces either, to be frank. 

Not a good start.

Still, as the stressed director attempting to hold a cast, production and career together in the midst of preparing a play to open, Caine does very well. Very well indeed, and I suspect its a script that actors love, so there is that. Has some proper barking at people loudly outbursts which are always fun.

The technical aspects of the film, being broken into the same show but in varying viewpoints each time is also very good. 

Denholm Elliot is a wonder, as ever.

But thats about it. My notes make interesting reading as they start positive. Amused. Chuckling. Then "pretty tedious" appears about halfway through. My final note is "a load of crap" written as the credits rolled.

I stand by that. Sorry!

The double entendres don't really work. People walking around shouting SARDINES is amusing the third time. Perhaps not so much, the fortieth time.

Can't win 'em all. I was hoping for another Surrender. Even another Rio. I was hoping for a reasonable platter............. and I got handed a garage forecourt sandwich.

1. This shouldn't surprise me as its both Superman and its the middle of the shoulderpad era, but I found myself hypnotised by Christopher Reeves MASSIVE shoulders.

(Caine, mid exclaim)

2. I was starting to get bored, but the appearance of a bottle of J&B cheered me up no end. 

Ah, J&B, the giallo blend of choice. My dear friend.

3. Attempting to charm scantily clad women by bearing unsubtle phallic gifts.

We've all been there.

Outfit of the film: Bold striped shirt, open at the neck. Blue silk thin neck scarf. Turquoise casual jacket to relax in.